In the early 2000s I worked as a dominatrix for about 18 months.  Doing the work as a pro didn’t really suit me, but I did learn a tremendous amount about myself, my kink, and other people and their desires during that time.  One of the things that I witnessed a lot when I did that job was a rivalry between people who had a personal background in the scene prior to taking the job, and those who didn’t.  Those who did, like me, spent a lot of time bragging about how they never did anything to their clients they hadn’t experienced themselves, even though this wasn’t always true.  And while some people say this is the only responsible way to play (never do something to someone else you haven’t experienced yourself), that’s simply not true.  Among other things, anatomy and personal wiring often make this impossible.

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